


Girl's Gotta Know How to Defend Herself, Right?

by completelyhopeless



Series: Darcy and the Hood [19]
Category: DCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Comment Fic, Community: comment_fic, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-08 03:39:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3193889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/completelyhopeless/pseuds/completelyhopeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy surprises the Avengers by knowing self-defense. Though, with Jason as a boyfriend, it shouldn't have been a surprise.</p><p>It almost was, though, because teaching her was harder than he thought it would be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Girl's Gotta Know How to Defend Herself, Right?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TourmalineQueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TourmalineQueen/gifts).



> This all started with one prompt: _[MCU, Darcy + any(or ensemble), the Avengers decide Darcy needs to know hand-to-hand combat. Darcy already knows Krav Maga.](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/392274.html?thread=66112082#t66112082)_
> 
> And then I wanted to do a follow up, but it took me a while to get to it. I was having one of my issues again. So then I wrote before it (there is a piece before this still technically missing, but I'll get there eventually.)
> 
> The lead up started with this prompt: _[Marvel Cinematic Universe (Thor'verse), Darcy Lewis/any, "Can you demonstrate?"](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/590591.html?thread=82251007#t82251007)_ and then I finished it up thanks to a bit of migraine inspired crack and this prompt: [MCU, Darcy + any, intimidated](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/415766.html?thread=67586838#t67586838)

* * *

When she holds her own against Natasha, she surprises them all.

“What?” Darcy asked in the face of their shocked looks. “Girl's gotta know how to defend herself, right?”

The stares continued until she said, “Fine, so maybe there was this guy...”

And the world made sense again.

* * *

“You know if you're going to be with me, you need protection. And I'm not just talking about the taser,” Jason said, and Darcy threw her pillow at him, rolling over and trying to go back to bed. “I'm not kidding, Darcy. There are plenty of people who want me or my family dead. Hell, half the time _I_ want my family dead.”

“You can't kill the one with the nice ass.”

“What?”

She smiled. “I like looking even if I only touch yours. Dick gets to live.”

“You know he's probably the most annoying one of all of them.”

“I like him. He's funny. And you owe him because he got me to forgive you.”

Jason grunted, but then he pulled her into his arms and held her there, using one hand to push back her hair. “You know I died, right? Joker killed me. This isn't a joke, Darcy. You need to know how to protect yourself with more than a taser if you're with me.”

“Okay, but only if you teach me.”

“Why?”

“So I can be hot for teacher.”

“Darcy—”

“I want to learn from you,” she leaned in close to him. “I trust you.”

* * *

“Darcy wants me to teach her how to fight. You have to help me.”

“You hit me over the head and dragged me off to your safehouse for this? What is wrong with you? You do realize someone is going to come after you for this because if they think you're going to start trying to kill all of us again—”

“I'm not.”

“Tell that to my head,” Dick muttered, and Jason handed him an ice pack. Dick looked at it and rolled his eyes before holding it up to the back of his head. “You know I came when you texted me. I came when you told my department I was your brother so I would bail you out of a public indecency charge, but now you have to whack me over the head when you want a favor?”

Jason shrugged. “It was easier.”

“Sure it was. What do you want?”

“Grumpy much?”

“Jason, the last time you hit me over the head—”

“I tried to kill you. I know,” Jason said. Dick watched him, warily. Jason leaned against the wall. “I told you. Darcy wants me to teach her how to fight.”

“Still not seeing what you need me for.”

Jason shook his head. “Sometimes you're an idiot. I can't teach Darcy how to fight. I know how to _kill._ If I teach her how to fight—”

“You learned from Batman, remember? He taught us how to control it, how _not_ to kill. You can do this. You don't need me, and you did not have to hit me over the head for this,” Dick grumbled, closing his eyes.

Jason reached over and shook him back awake. “I can't do this. It's Darcy. She's... she's...

“A girl?” Dick asked, looking like he might puke. “A woman. Whatever. I know how you feel about the creeps that prey on women, how it brings up all those issues with your mother, but this isn't the same. It's teaching, and you can handle it. You've hit girls before. Poison Ivy. Harley. Catwoman, I think. Talia, even, maybe.”

“Yeah, but that's different. Half of them were criminals or insane or both. This is _Darcy._ I can't hurt her. Ever.”

Dick let out a breath. “You're not seriously asking _me_ to be the one to hurt her, are you?”

“I figured I could demonstrate on you.”

“Yeah, no. Besides, it doesn't teach anyone anything just to watch. They have to _do_ it, which means Darcy actually has to fight someone. And why are you teaching her to fight, anyway?”

“Moron. Do you have any idea how many enemies I have on _either_ side of the law?”

“I'm not an idiot,” Dick said. “It's just hard to think through a concussion. I should be used to it by now, but I'm not. We're going to need help.”

“You're supposed to be help.”

“Jason, I am not hitting your girlfriend any more than you are. We should ask one of ladies. Babs, Stephanie, Cass—”

“Darcy wanted me to teach her.”

“Then pull your punches or start her on the basics with one of them. I'm concussed, but those seem like your only options.”

“I hate you.”

“Yeah, well, the feeling's kind of mutual at the moment.”

* * *

“That was hot,” Darcy said, fanning herself. “Do you two _always_ fight like that?”

“Only when he's pissed because I hit him over the head and I'm angry because he was right,” Jason said, not mentioning any of the times that he'd actually tried to kill Dick. She seemed to know about them—Dick shaking his head probably didn't help—but she didn't say anything as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“If we were really fighting, there'd be a lot more damage,” Dick added, wiping off his neck with a towel. “And blood. And language.”

Jason shrugged. It was all true, so it wasn't really worth denying. That was just a demonstration of some basics—though he shouldn't call Krav Maga basic.

“That was awesome,” Darcy insisted. “You are the most kickass badass I know.”

Jason frowned. “Those mean the same thing.”

“No, they don't. I'll prove it.”

He kissed her before she could find a dictionary, and they both forgot about it for a moment.

“You know I haven't pulled the Batman thing and disappeared yet,” Dick said. “You still have an audience.”

“What haven't you seen by now?” Darcy asked, and Dick grimaced. Jason didn't need the reminder of having to text him for a rescue, either. 

Dick shook his head. “Just so you know, she'll be here in twenty minutes.”

“We can be quick,” Darcy said, and Jason laughed, lifting her into his arms.

* * *

“You know you're not actually learning anything when you keep distracting with me with sex.”

Darcy laughed. “Can I help it if you are too hot to resist when you show me your moves?”

Jason rolled his eyes, but she grinned and wrapped her arms around him. She knew he was really worried about her, that he cared, and she thought it was kind of cute how it showed itself in his insistence on teaching her self-defense. She didn't feel the same need—she'd never been intimidated by being with him. She didn't care if it was a risk.

She loved him.

“I learned plenty. And one of these days, I'll stop being distracted by sex so I can show you.”

Jason smiled, brushing back some of her hair. “I love you.”

“'Bout time you said it back.”

**Author's Note:**

> I also worked my minifill for this prompt: _[DCU/MCU, Darcy/Jason, kickass versus badass](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/590792.html?thread=82306248#t82306248)_ in, though I imagine they'll revisit that topic later.


End file.
